I Want to Stay Close to Home This Summer

Dr. Robert Wallace
Thu, 09 Apr 2026 21:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

DR. WALLACE: My instincts are telling me to stay close to home this summer, especially because I've just acquired a new apartment near campus and will begin my very important junior year in college this fall, and I want to prepare for that.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, wants to take a massive six-week vacation that is more like a sojourn across the country rather than a typical single-destination vacation journey. He seems to really have his heart set on doing this, despite my reservations and wishes that I've explained to him many times. He also likes to take road trips with his friends, as he goes hunting over the extended weekends sometimes and fishing as well at various parts of the year with his buddies.

I hate to opt out of going on a vacation with him at all this summer, but I just can't afford to be gone for six weeks! — Mismatched Vacation Plans, via email
Updated: Fri Apr 10, 2026

DR. WALLACE: My instincts are telling me to stay close to home this summer, especially because I've just acquired a new apartment near campus and will begin my very important junior year in college this fall, and I want to prepare for that.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, wants to take a massive six-week vacation that is more like a sojourn across the country rather than a typical single-destination vacation journey. He seems to really have his heart set on doing this, despite my reservations and wishes that I've explained to him many times. He also likes to take road trips with his friends, as he goes hunting over the extended weekends sometimes and fishing as well at various parts of the year with his buddies.

I hate to opt out of going on a vacation with him at all this summer, but I just can't afford to be gone for six weeks! — Mismatched Vacation Plans, via email

MISMATCHED VACATION PLANS: I can appreciate your desire to stay close to your new nest and to work on that and your college prep for the upcoming school year, but I also feel you would benefit greatly by enjoying a little R&R for at least two weeks.

See if you can find out all the locations your boyfriend wants to visit, and ask him if he can break it down into segments where various individuals can join him along the way. Perhaps you could lead off and go with him for two weeks to a destination you would enjoy, and then perhaps he could roll on from there with one or more of his friends while you fly home to take care of things in your hometown. He could similarly have another friend or set of friends meet him again for a few weeks toward the end of his trip, depending on everyone's schedule.

By at least proposing an idea like this, you'll be offering a realistic compromise, and something that is likely in each of your best interests, plus suitable for the common good of your relationship together.

IT'S LIKE MY BOYFRIEND IS SPEAKING A FOREIGN LANGUAGE!

DR. WALLACE: My new boyfriend is a great guy, but it seems that 80% of all the conversations we have are centered around his desire to talk about sports and finance, two things he's heavily involved with.

He sometimes talks to me like I'm one of his guy friends, and he'll ramble on about sports games that I know nothing about or discuss the stock market or interest rates, which I am similarly clueless on. It's almost as if he's speaking a foreign language! As his girlfriend, I of course want to be supportive, and it's fine if he wants to talk about these things occasionally, but he continues to regularly talk unintentionally over my head.

I don't speak up for myself as often as I should, but I will admit that when I do initiate a topic to discuss with him, he will engage me and listen to what I'm saying pretty well; there's no problem there. But what can I do about his many "foreign-language" discussions with me? — I Don't Understand Most of It, via email

I DON'T UNDERSTAND MOST OF IT: The next time he starts in on one of his long-winded discussions about sports, ask him a quick question early on, and then calmly follow up that question by telling him that you wanted to be honest with him that you don't follow a lot of what he talks about regarding sports and finance.

Ask him to please slow down and let you ask questions along the way so that you can follow the information better. It may seem bold to do this, but it's actually in both of your collective interests. You mentioned that he follows your conversations about topics you initiate pretty well, so you could complement him on that and let him know you'd like to be able to return the favor on topics he likes discussing, but you need a little coaching first. It's as simple as that! Just speak up early on, ask him to slow down a bit and allow you to pepper a few questions into the discussion so that you can at least begin a cursory level of understanding that you can build upon.